HeartBreak

Its over, I'm through, we're through, this is through, everything is through.

No more posts, no more anything.  I don't know where I'll be, or what I'm going to do, but I know I need to be gone.

When I first saw him there, where I should be, I was so angry, then I felt vomit crawling up my throat, back to anger, tears bursting out, and my body seemingly melting in front of their very eyes.  No wonder she had been so awkward at dinner.  How does she live with herself?  How did she not burst during my hours of questioning? How could she do this to anyone, especially me?  Why am I even asking, I'm no different than anyone else.  Of course she found something better, who was I kidding.

This is the reason I never wanted to do this, this is why I had in my cave.  This emotion that no human should feel.  It's the end of me, It's the end of us, and it's the end of these stupid posts.

I shouldn't have. I just shouldn't have.  I won't again.

Healing

Good.  Kate all of a sudden seems much happier, and has that perfect conviction back, and Sophie is very happy with her new man it seems.  I think things couldn't be a whole lot better, logically, yet I have a horrible gut feeling.

Went to dinner tonight with Kate, and everything was the same as it always was, but something just didn't feel right.  I kept asking her if she had something she wanted to tell me, and everytime she told me she was fine I had no idea what to say or think.  Maybe she is, but maybe she's just being a girl and saying it.  Gar, this relationship stuff is complex, and scary.

Well, it's probably just another thing I need to get over.  She's never led me astray before, I guess it's time I put a little bit of trust in her.  A little bit of trust never hurt anyone!  I'm getting used to this already.