Lunch

Wow.

So lunch was cool.  Basically, I got there and she completely wanted me.  Same old story, they always do. I entertained her for awhile with charming one-liners, she giggled nervously.  I took her back to my place and you know the rest.

...

Okay, so maybe that isn't what happened.  Maybe I've never been on a date before, Alright?  I did like it though.  The beginning was rough, I wasn't really sure what to say or do or what she was feeling at all.  She's pretty damn forward though.  She was teasing me mercilessly about everything, what a nerd I was, how I ate, how I spoke, and while she was being cruel in a weird way I loved it.  My comfort level rose, and as it did I began to tease her right back.

Everything was going smoothly until she jammed her hand suddenly under the table, and in one swift motion had grasped my fingers in hers.  My heart lurched into my throat, and nerves wriggled up through my neck from my toes.  I couldn't believe how it felt, just to have a girl hold your hand.  I was visibly shaking, and her smiling gaze back at me wasn't making me feel any worse.

She shook all the negativity out of me, and I've enjoyed an afternoon of bliss just reminiscing about it.  I cannot wait until the next time I see her.

Sorry Modern Warfare II.

New Sights

After long days, and long nights, of doing nothing but devising ways of getting back at frat boy/figuring out how to be a better man for Sophie/ dominating the next level of Modern Warfare/ practicing beer pong by myself in my room, I feel like I am finally beginning the healing process.

Not really, but I did meet a new girl.

I met her in my chemistry lab.  Kate Dufay is her name.  While I think Sophie might be more attractive, Kate and I have strange chemistry that I felt from the start.  Sophie feels out of my league, Kate feels just on the edge.  I think she was actually flirting with me for Christ's sake!  I'm not really sure, as I'm not sure I even know what flirting is, but I know that it felt nice.

Kate has asked me out to lunch on Thursday, I'm thinking I will have to accept.  I'm trying to keep my hopes low, as that generally serves me best, but its hard for me to deny that extra pitter patter in my heart.  Could this be me actually liking someone, who has the possibility of liking me back?  

I don't want to jump in too deep, but I like the potential here.  

Healing

As I attempt to recover from the heartbreak hotel that was Sophie Fox, I turn to myself for answers.  What good am I in the world?  How can I be something that a girl like Sophie (not Sophie though because I'm trying to get OVER her), but how can I avoid this situation again?  I have to make myself better.  How can I make myself better?

Bah,

The road seems so unpaved for glory.  However, I know I must journey on my own.  I must be a hero, I must fight, its the only way I'll ever get there.  The defeatist attitude has got to go.

Bahaha.  Yeah right.  That's never going to happen.  Damn you Sophie Fox.

Stupefaction

After feeling like my greatest infatuation, might turn into my greatest love (after one moment of talking to her in my room), I have been quickly reminded of how insignificant I truly am.

Last night, after dressing to the nines, she went out to a "frat party".  Never been into frats, in fact, I wouldn't mind if they all slid down a razor-wire fence into a pool of lemon juice, but thats just me.  Later in the evening after a few drinks, she arrived - fray boy in tow.  After listening to them giggle in her room for awhile, and drink more, the lights went out, and nobody left.  Trust me, I listened for the door.

Why is it that a FRAT boy can beat me to the punch?  What does he have that I don't have?  How could this be.  I would try to figure out how to beat this frat boy, if I was competitive at all, but I prefer being a defeatist.  I just don't get it with girls, and I guess contrary to my beliefs, Sophie Fox is no different.

Figures.

Incredulity

Well, that went better than expected.

Today she came into my room.  Yeah, first of all, let's deal with that.  My room with the 20 inch monitor with all of my greatest computer designs on it, the man smell, and the nerdy guy with the giant headphones on?  Yep, Sophie Fox came into that room.  She came to introduce herself, and try to get to know me.

Yeah, that means she talked to me too.  Talked.  To me.  She does speak english, in contradiction to what I had once thought, a beautiful english at that.  She was....easy to talk to.  Strange coming from me.  Maybe she purposely came in here to give me false hopes so that she could crush me and I would stay in here forever.  That's probably it.  Damn it, I really thought I was getting somewhere too.

Oh well.  To be honest, if I died now, at least I can curl up with my MacBook and monitor.  Then I won't be so alone at least.

Refresh

Sometimes I'm excited at the thought of Sophie Fox living in the same suite as me, other times, not so much.  She seems so perfect to me.  Living together it seems only right that we will be together, or I will at least have a shot right?

Yeah, right.  I'm in my room most of the time with my MacBook and 20 inch screen playing games to pass the time; hoping some incredible babe will hit me up on AIM and beg me to come to her room.  There's no way a guy like me is going to end up being anywhere near touching her.  

There's got to be a way.  There has to be a way to get into her head.  I'm unique, right?  There must be something I offer her that other guys don't?

Fuck.  I hate this.  Venting on this blog isn't even helping me come up with a plan to steal this girl's heart.  I'll have to think of something, I can't just let her be a perfectly crafted fixture of my dorm.